Blind
by chokesob
Summary: An AU taking place after the events of Siege and Storm. Alina awakens on a ship to realize she has no memory of the last few days of her life, Mal is gone, and she has been taken hostage by the Darkling.


I opened my eyes to a sliver of daylight streaming through a crack in the wall next to my makeshift bed. My head rang out with a fierce and aching pain as my eyes adjusted to the dim room. I wasn't sure where I was, but I slowly awakened to a gentle rocking underneath me. As I concluded I must be on a ship of some sort, a cold unease gripped my chest. There was only one reason I would be back on board a vessel-and it wasn't for a journey across the seas to our neighboring countries.

I slid off my bed to make my way towards the door. I had slept in a tidy, small room with barely any furnishings. My bed consisted of an overly used, stained mattress shoved against the wall with a pillow and a small barrel next to it as a makeshift table. The crack told me the sun had risen; had been towering in the sky for awhile by the angle of the slant. I sucked in a breath filled of dust and salt and stale air then steeled myself to opening the door to my fate on the other side. I was saved the trouble, however, as it was pulled open just as my fingers brushed the handle. I snatched my hand away immediately, flinching.

Genya stood in the doorway with a look of barely concealed surprise, and dare I say it, hurt?

"Oh. You're awake." She seemed tense; awkward almost. It was a peculiar look on Genya, who was usually the picture of grace and decorum. "He wants to see you."

I nodded, because that's the only physical movement my body would allow me at the moment. I let her lead me out of my small room and down another compact hallway towards a staircase. I counted only one other door as we passed. Genya looked over her shoulder every so often to be sure I hadn't turned around and run the other way. I wanted to take her hand, squeeze the tension away that had taken shape between her eyes, but knew that that part of our friendship was long since gone.

The wind hit my face first as I stepped onto the deck. The sun was brilliant in the sky but the wind was biting and cold as it struck my cheeks, leaving them more red then they already were. I glanced around, searching for a face I knew I wouldn't see. I tried to keep my heart from slowly dissolving but it splintered off as I only registered unfamiliar, cold faces staring back.

_It's a good thing Mal isn't on this ship with you, you fool. He's safe; somewhere far away from the Darkling's reach. _

But that wasn't quite true, was it?

No one was out of the Darkling's reach. Not even myself.

Genya cleared her throat. I noticed she stood several feet away from me. She gave me a strange look but I only shook my head, glancing towards the sun once more. I felt like a stranger on this ship, adrift at sea among monsters and nightmares from the ocean depths, with only the sun to hold me anchor to its gleaming point.

We reached two giant double doors that were painted a deep red. I looked to Genya, who only shrugged before pushing them open. The room was wide, much larger and grander than the one I had just spent the night in. A dark wood table filled the middle of the room before us with chairs scattered around its long, gleaming surface. To the left, a hallway tapered off to what I assumed was the sleeping quarters. A sizable map had been posted on the wall behind the table, showing all the lands from Shu Han to Djerholm, and in between. I saw a few points were tacked off, but I wasn't able to discern an actual strategy from the scattered tacks.

The Darkling stood at the head of the table speaking quietly to Ivan and a few other men. His speech halted and his face cleared of any emotion he may have felt towards my appearance. I didn't pay Ivan any more attention than he spared me, which was none at all.

I felt the coldness creep into my hands and into my stomach as it did now whenever I saw the Darkling. My scalp tickled with uncertainty as his eyes swept over my hair, face, body, clothes. I felt my cheeks betray me as my face flamed at his perusal. I hoped it only blended with the redness the wind had already created. His dark hair shone in a halo of light above his head, shadows enhanced the sharp edges and elegant mold that withheld too many years of rotting evil. The Darkling's beauty radiated throughout the room with a certain cool vitality that left everything icy in it's wake. He drew you in like a poisonous insect with his beautiful exterior only to be bitten while you were blinded in the darkness.

_He can't be trusted, he can't be trusted._ I repeated this like a mantra to myself as Ivan and the other's shuffled out.

"Did you sleep well?" The Darkling continued to look down at the scattered papers in front of him. My anger flared up in my throat.

I stopped myself from biting off a scathing remark. "Where am I?" I spit out instead.

The Darkling merely addressed Genya this time. "Did she sleep?"

"Yes," she replied primly. "She barely stirred the whole night."

He nodded down to the papers; I wasn't sure if it was Genya's reply or that he saw something that pleased him.

"Thank you for bringing her, Genya. You may go." Genya bowed to the Darkling before backing away and closing the heavy red doors behind her. I shivered, repressing the urge to hug my arms around my body. The room was suddenly a few degrees colder, my confidence a little less great than it was a moment ago. I was so worried about Mal. I knew I had to push him out of my mind, I had to lock him away, before my distraction for him got us both killed.

The Darkling was still staring down at his papers. I was becoming nervous, fidgety; I wanted to say something, anything to stop this painful silence. I refused to look at him, leaning over his work like a tireless soldier obsessed with his latest military strategy. If I did, I knew what I might see because I had seen it before: a lonely, bleak, sad individual trying to perfect an imperfect world. I couldn't empathize with him.

I _would _not.

"Do you remember?"

I twitched at the sudden question. "Ex-excuse me?"

The Darkling finally looked up, a silent challenge in his remote grey eyes. "Do you remember the events, Alina?"

I racked my brain for an answer, any lifeline to what he was talking about. But nothing came. "I... I remember waking up this morning... I remember the cathedral... The attack... The _nich-_"

I bit off my sentence. And stayed quiet. The Darkling's eyes widened for half a second, before a small smile splayed over his lips. "You don't remember. How interesting."

"I don't remember _what_?"

"Alina, you have a strong sense of survival. You were meant to rule at the top; your power ensures that you shines above all others. You proved that yesterday, and also as you were sleeping. You may fool yourself for a while longer, but you can't run from who you are forever. The truth will hunt you out eventually."

My head was muddled still with a fading ache and a haze that refused to lift. I was afraid that I already understood what he was saying but I refused to give into the clarity his words offered. "No. I'm not like you. I would never kill the people I love nor would I leave them to die for the comfort my power afforded."

The Darkling's smile widened further. "Haven't you, though? You say you can't remember what you've done? Who knows what you were capable of? The choices you had to make?"

I stood taller even as I cringed inside. _Where was Mal where was Mal_ _where was Mal _ ricocheted throughout my head. "I'm not capable of atrocities to your grandeur. I never would be."

The Darkling stepped towards me as I gripped the back of one of his polished wooden chairs. I felt his power and darkness as a tangible thing, wrapping itself around his body, transforming the man into the beast. But this time with no hope for redemption.

His power called to mine with a sureness and such conviction that it erased all other thoughts. "You and I, Alina," the Darkling whispered. "We could do so much together. I have so many plans, if only you would let me in to show you. I hate having to hurt you in order to make a few idiotic points."

With that, my vision shattered, my soul splintered, and my feet tripped backwards. "What did you say?"

The Darkling traced my jaw with an elegantly long, cool finger. His finger softly brought my face around so my raging eyes met his empty ones. "You didn't think I brought you here alone, did you?"

My stomach heaved as a single name rushed in and blew my thoughts away. I was helpless to this man, I could see this now. He had played his cards perfectly and at just the right time to leave me at his mercy. I hadn't seen Mal on deck, but I was stupid to suppose he couldn't have been held below deck this entire time, either.

"Who did you capture? Mal?" His name felt sour on my tongue.

"Tsk, tsk, Alina. I expected you to be more astute than this." The Darkling was still holding my jaw with his finger. While his power washed through me, his confidence, boldness, sureness came with it. He bent down as his hand lowered to cup my neck; his fingers no longer felt cold. They felt warm, very, very warm.

"You should know, I never wanted things to end up this way between us."

A ripple of shock went through us both at his words; was it coming through him or me? I looked up to glance up at the Darkling and again felt a shiver of surprise and disquiet ripple through me. Instead of the empty darkness his eyes were normally clouded by, an innocent screamed back at me now. These eyes were an endless layer of hope and grief and anger and bitterness and isolation. Despite the terrible emotions I read there, they were warmer than I'd ever seen them. I felt a stutter in my chest as I stared into the beautiful twin storms. The Darkling blinked a moment later, however, and the moment passed, forgotten.

His eyes were empty, my head cleared.

He called for the prisoner.

_Breathe, breathe, breathe_

I stood next to the Darkling in front of the dark red doors. I didn't take the time to wonder why they weren't painted in his colors. I had bigger problems at the moment.

And it was being dragged up the stairs onto the deck.

I felt the Darkling glance down to me when a figure was brought up from below. It seems he stayed below deck near where I slept, if not right next door to me. My body froze at the thought.

"Bring him in front," the Darkling's voice rang loud and clear through the morning. His eyes never wavered from my face. I melted away every emotion from my face, tucking my feelings for a later time when I wasn't being scrutinized like a rabbit by a hawk.

The men shuffled a figure with a sack over his head. I couldn't tell if it was Mal or not. The man had raggedy clothes on that were indistinguishable from the sweat, stains, and... I sunk my teeth into my tongue to bite back a sob.

_Blood._

"What have you done?" I whispered through my fingers. My lips were numb and bloodless as if I was trying to give this thoroughly injured and beaten stranger my own health and vitality.

"Only what you bargained for your own safekeeping, Alina," the Darkling replied. "You have more strength and a will to survive than you believe. Your power will not allow you to perish."

I couldn't take my eyes off the stranger in front of me. His body swayed slightly, as if drunk or woozy. His head flopped towards his chest, his hands tied behind his back. I wanted to cry out, scream, punish anyone who dared trust that I would do this to another human being for my own survival. I may not remember my last few days, but I knew myself well enough that I would never allow such treatment of an individual. Especially one I supposedly knew.

Right?

I saw the Darkling nod his head towards someone out of the corner of my eye. A Grisha soldier immediately complied by marching forward and grabbing the strangers head. He groaned, his head and body rolling back dangerously. I surged forward, ready to help the poor man, but the Darkling stopped me.

"No," he said smoothly, his grey eyes cutting into me. "I think you've deserved the surprise, don't you?"

I gulped, looking beyond his arm just as the sack was ripped off the man's head. I caught a glimpse of golden hair, high cheekbones, and hazel eyes all lost in a sea of pain and blood and sweat. I cried out, pushing the Darkling's arm aside, rushing to the stranger who wasn't actually a stranger.

"_Nikolai!"_


End file.
